In today’s wedding hype, come December, suppliers tagged it as busy month in the Philippines. With long holidays and vacation time for most loved ones plus that perfect chilly Christmas-y weather that add bonus to a romantic scene, most millenial couple chose this as let’s-tie-the-knot month, other option for that traditional June bride.
During Decembers to June, most weddings are held in the country. So, you may probably receive invitations by now and don’t know what to do with that RSVPs or might be thinking what to wear for your best-friend’s wedding, well, we know the feeling because this is just a once-in-a-lifetime event of the person inviting us and we want to be part of that journey in classy elegant way and not otherwise.
There are no rules in attending a wedding but here are some of the most important things to consider before stepping your foot to the event.
1. Always remember, R.S.V.P. = A.S.A.P.
First and most important of all, that RSVPs. Here’s the thing, you received an invitation with the following caption, R.S.V.P followed by the couple/coordinator’s contact number. And you’re stuck with hey, what is this? Well, according to Wikipedia, RSVP is a process for a response from the invited person or people. It is an initialism derived from the French phrase Répondez s’il vous plaît meaning “Please respond”.
Dear, don’t crack that brain-cells and simply think, “Am I available in that date? If yes, then call, text or send back the RSVP upon confirmed availability as soon as possible. No need to wait a day before the wedding to send that or arrived at the wedding without confirming attendance. Please, do you’re part. Oh! If you are not coming, they can still invite the next important person. So do it, ASAP! Wink. Wink.
2. Know your math, I reserved 1 seat for you means only you. Don’t bring the whole family.
When invited in a wedding unless stated that you can bring the whole family, 1 means 1 not a plus 1, not definitely multiply it by the number of your family members. This is simple again, I reserved 1 seat for you means only you. Do not ask the couple if you can bring your kid, your partner, your sistah or your whole clan. Weddings are not an open event where you can freely bring with you anyone you like. In this day and age where everything costs sky high, it’s OK to go alone. That ballroom will not eat you if you go by yourself. Hashtag adulting, dear.
3. Wedding takes forever. Have something to eat before and during the event to keep energy at bay. Don’t blame the couple for serving the food late. Be responsible.
Your BFFs already found her forever. Good. But did you know that attending their wedding takes forever too? Yes, bear in mind that you are bound to witness their first step towards their journey to forever. There are endless photo ops for the couple. And we understand after the event what remains in their happily ever after are just photograph. Be patience with this. And remember, it’s not fiesta where you will eat as soon as you arrived at the host venue. Nah! There are wedding rituals that are usually followed for good luck and well, its tradition. Bring something with you, like a small bar of your favorite chocolate to keep the glucose soaring and keep your energy until dinner is served.
Usually, couple are torn between two options. Either chosing to serve the food right after the wedding reception started and get no one to witness their wedding rituals because by the time come everyone’s finished eating, they slowly disappear. OR do the rituals first and got some guests complaining about their hunger as if they are just there to eat. Yes, it’s not easy which one to take because each has consequences and that’s the sad truth about Filipino weddings. So, I guess, as guest, (oh, that’s tongue twister) it’s about time to change that aspect and understand that someday, you will have your own wedding too, and you wouldn’t want to see people slowly disappear after they are full or worst, complain that your wedding is no good because coordinator serve the food late. Let’s get that optimism rule instead. Stop complaining.
4. Do not be that boring guest whom nailed in their seats for the rest of the event.
You may not have that star-of-the-night attitude but PLEASE STAND UP! (Eminem’s The Real Slim Shady playing as background music) Mingle with other people. Socialize. Join the fun. It is not easy at first if you know no one but this is your chance to meet new friendships and maybe, your potential glorious-like partner too. Wink. Wink. Get that body moving girl. The newly-wed friends will certainly appreciate such act and might think you enjoy their day too. Rather glancing frequently at your signature watch, remember there is no boring event only boring people attending it.
5. Wear modest attire. No whites, creams or nudes.
Why? Because you are not the bride. Do not for any reason out-stand her. Do not wear that lacey -white dress if you doesn’t like the twinning moments with the bride on her wedding day. Might sound “dyahe” but that’s true. Same rule apply with shades of nudes and creams. So you might be asking, what’s appropriate then? Best thing you can do is research about their motif and wear it or have something closer to their color hues. Also, one of the safest are pastels color or floral prints. Anything that is not grabbing attention is fine. Avoid something that is overly embellished, in leather, etc.
Can I wear black? In Philippine tradition, way back then, up until now black is associated with color of mourning or sorrow. This Filipino practices according to Wikipedia is an influenced from Chinese, Japanese and folk Catholic beliefs. Oh wow. Some traditional couple, may indicate, “STRICTLY NO BLACK” in their invites. Pay respect to what they want. Without going deeper to that, well, I can say, black nowadays speaks elegance and sophistication in fashion world. There are even couple who nailed black in their wedding motif. For me there is nothing wrong in wearing black to a wedding, particularly to those who doesn’t want to hit the gym before the occasion. Get what I mean? It’s slimming too. But your assignment is to accessorize that LBD with fun and interesting details to make it more lively. Experiment with the look so you won’t appear as though you are in sorrow that the couple is getting married. Lol.
6. YOUR KIDS!
It’s capslack for you. Yes, weddings are not a “place” where they can freely run in the aisle and throw tantrums. Kids are kids but not this time. This is not their playground or fun houses.
In one event, that naughty kid ran and play in the reception ballroom while her mom was busy chit-chatting with the other guests, few seconds later, boom! Camera set-up in one corner feel down and got damaged. The hired photo and videographer was shocked and all the while, that busy mom just say sorry! I mean sorry, it’s not enough. How much that poor thingy cost plus the coverage that was filmed before the incident happen. Gross! but again, this thing could not happen if the parent is responsible enough to disciplined and took care of that little one.
TIP: If you can leave that naughty fellas at home, better. What if nobody’s there? Hire a nanny, talk to your trusted neighbor to take care of the kid for a day. It’s a win-win situation for you, too. You get to enjoy the day while your kid get the chance to meet other people, you are slowly easing the separation anxiety for you both. So go, queen mother, you deserve this socialization once in a while after having kid. Don’t feel guilty about it.
7. Wedding gifts. Yes, please bring.
Are wedding gifts important and a must? It depends but a little something can go a long way. Part of adulting is bringing something in lieu of an invites. It wouldn’t hurt if you can at least contribute to their start-off fund. If the couple prefer monetary gift, good for you, no need to go last minute shopping or browsing the web for best wedding gift ideas. Just secure that red Chinese envelope called ampao and pin it during their prosperity dance during reception.
8. Stay until the end of the reception program.
Last but not the least. Your presence is important that is why you are there, invited and seated as guests. Imagine they have thousand relatives and friends but you are one of those special hundred to witnessed their I Dos? You must be special to them.
According to Matthew 5:41, “If a soldier demands that you carry his gear for a mile, carry it two miles.” It is popularly known verse that stems from the teachings of Jesus or simply known as “going the extra mile”. How can we apply this teaching in attending a wedding? Simple. Do the extra mile by staying until the program ends. Up until the couple delivers their speech, “Thank you for coming”. You already committed your time and effort to be there, it wouldn’t hurt if you stay a little more to finish the program rather than slowly disappear after that full course meal. What a disgrace! Nothing is more forlorn for the newly than seeing their guests bidding goodbye just before the program ends. It may feel as if you don’t care. Just stay and you will thank me.
There you have it. My top 8 must do in a wedding – as guest. I hope it helps. If you have something to share, comment down below. Much love.
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